funny marijuana stories

People Share Their Hilarious First Time Smoking Pot Stories

People who smoke pot don’t always know what the ganja has in store for them. Reddit users share stories about their first times feeling high, and other than getting the munchies, each experience is different. Some people get aggressive; others bleed unexpectedly and profusely. Sometimes the pot makes smokers lose all sense of time, space, and depth perception.

Most of them keep smoking, though, and they rarely have a single regret.

They Needed Three Hours To Remember How To Walk

It was from a bong and I had already been drinking. Someone lit it for me and burned the whole thing, and I took it in insanely quickly. The next three hours were me convincing myself I wasn’t gonna die, and that I’d eventually remember how to walk again.

Louis CK does this perfect bit about how he was high once and was staring at people thinking “look at her for 5. 4. 3. 1. look at him 5. 4. ” etc, and that’s exactly what it was like. Everyone was staring at me and I had this internal timer telling me to move on to staring at the next person. It was rough. The spins were intense.

They Forgot How To Eat Pizza

I was in high school. Two friends and I went to their house to smoke where we smoked out of a bowl fashioned from an emptied pen, bottle cap, duct tape, and tin foil. We went for a drive and ended up at a pizzeria. They ordered a pie as I sat there just. waiting for food. I was really hungry for some reason. All of a sudden, the pizza comes out. and I don’t know what to do. On top of this being my first smoking weed and getting high experience, it’s also my first experience with penne vodka pizza. I sat there staring at the pizza not knowing if I should reach for a fork (because pasta) or reach for the slice (because pizza). I sat there for about 25 minutes until I realized I could just look at my friends eating the pizza and follow suit with them.

They Mistook Appendicitis For Weed Pains

I had appendicitis, I didn’t know this. Had my first attack after smoking my first joint. Assumed the extreme pain was from the weed and didn’t smoke again for a couple years.

They Teleported To The Kitchen

[My brother in law] packs the bowl my sister had stashed somewhere and we pass it back and forth a few times with me trying to act like a pro and him having to tell me how to use a carb. As soon as we were done we go out to throw some brats on the grill. After like 15 minutes I say, “Man I’m not really feeling anything,” so he suggests I go finish the bowl, which I do as there’s only a couple hits left.

We pull the brats off the grill and I’m starting to feel a little hazy and giggly and we sit down to watch the movie Mirrors . I don’t remember exactly what happened between “A little hazy and giggly” and “What the f*ck is happening right now?” as I was immersed in the movie. I do distinctly remember thinking, “This movie doesn’t make any sense, it just keeps jumping around from scene to scene. One second they’re here, now they’re over there. What is this movie even about? Did I eat one of those brats? I think I did, there’s an empty plate in front of me like I did.”

As I was sitting there somehow I teleported into the kitchen. Like I was sitting on the couch one second and then I was in the kitchen standing at the counter wondering how the hell I just got there. I looked down and saw a glass I had apparently pulled out of the cupboard and decided I must be thirsty so I got some sweet tea and sat back down on the couch very slowly desperately trying not to spill tea on the carpet. I don’t remember their couch being 3′ deep but that’s how far I sunk into it when I sat down. Brother in law is laughing at how carefully I’m trying to sit down and asks if I’m okay.

People who smoke pot don't always know what the ganja has in store for them. Reddit users share stories about their first times feeling high, and other …

Taking The ‘High’ Road: The Best Stoned Celebrity Confessions Ever

From Sophie Turner to Jennifer Lawrence, these famous faces have shared their funniest 420 tales

Like many Americans, some celebrities enjoy the occasional — or not-so-occasional — herbal indulgence.

In honor of today’s green holiday, we’re looking back at the times stars have candidly shared their funniest tales of marijuana escapades. Their confessions are bound to give you a serious case of the giggles, whether you’re stone-cold sober or sky-high.

Jennifer Lawrence
During a 2018 visit to The Howard Stern Show, the actress delved into her overwhelming experience smoking with unidentified rappers at Ellen DeGeneres’ legendary 60th birthday party.

“My ride wasn’t ready to leave yet, so I smoked a joint with some rappers — and their s— is different,” she said. “So I entered a different universe.”

After getting high, Lawrence headed to the portable toilet, where she instigated an intense encounter with another partygoer.

The guest offered to let Lawrence go ahead of her in line, but she could tell that the woman was just being bashful.

“So I’m in the port o’ pot and I’m like, ‘She’s gotta poop. This poor women’s just gotta poop.’ So I came out and I made a beeline for her and I went up to her and I was like, ‘Look, you gotta poop,’ ” she continued. “She was kind of laughing, but was like, ‘No — I don’t know why you’re saying that, I really don’t.’ ”

“All of a sudden security is grabbing me, because what I hadn’t realized is I am grabbing this woman by the shoulders, shaking her, screaming ‘You have to poop! You have to poop!’ And the security guard is laughing so hard because he’s heard the whole exchange. He’s like, ‘You can’t grab her, but I agree, she got to poop.’ So he and I are on the ground laughing. And the woman finally started laughing.”

“Then I got McDonald’s on the way back,” Lawrence added.

Josh Hutcherson & Seth Rogen

Earlier this year, Hutcherson revealed just how devoted his famously 420-friendly Future Man producer/director really is on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

“I had this idea that [Seth’s] whole weed thing and smoking and all this was like a bit — it’s not,” he said. “Halfway through shooting we were outside to hang for a minute and he literally, while directing, is smoking the marijuana.”

“He has this little case and he’s like, ‘Ah, man, my wife only gave me seven joints for the day,’ ” Hutcherson continued. “I was like, ‘Seven?! Whoa, man.’ ”

Shawn Mendes
The “Lost in Japan” singer told Rolling Stone about his love of spending days enjoying the drug. “I love weed,” he said. “I wouldn’t tweet that — not yet, at least — but it’s really good for me. When I’m home, I’ll smoke and then play guitar for seven hours.”

Michael Douglas & Danny DeVito
DeVito appears on the November 2018 cover of Cigar Aficionado, where old friends from his career looked back on their relationship with the actor. Douglas chose to recall their very first meeting.

“I was on the beach, looking out at the Long Island Sound and this guy walks up to me, with this long head of hair, if you can imagine,” Douglas recalled. “He says ‘You get high?’ We were both 1967 potheads, so we smoked a joint and that was the beginning of a long, long friendship.”

Maisie Williams & Sophie Turner
The Game of Thrones stars and IRL besties told the crowd at New York Comic-Con how they decompress after crazy days of shooting.

“We’re kind of like loners of Game of Thrones, just because the past few seasons Maisie and I have sleepovers every night when we’re sleeping,” Turner said. “We just used to sit there and eat and watch stupid videos and smoke weed.”

“I don’t know if my publicist will kill me for saying this,” she continued. “We’d get high and then we’d sit in the bath together and we’d rub makeup brushes on our faces. It’s fun.”

Nick Jonas
The singer’s spontaneous choice to enjoy a THC-laced lollipop had some humiliating (for him, but hilarious for us) consequences. As Jonas recalled on The Tonight Show, a friend offered him the special candy and he thought, ‘Yeah sure, why not,’ even though he usually does not partake.

“I enjoyed the night, felt great, went to bed feeling fine,” he said. “I woke up the next day — slow motion, everything’s in slow motion. I’m like, ‘Oh no, this is happening, this is real’ — because I had to be up for the Young Hollywood Awards, presenting at the Young Hollywood Awards.”

“I’m hearing these voices [in the shower]. It’s horrible, so I call down to my girlfriend who’s in the kitchen. ‘Babe, I need some bread, I need some coffee. Something!’ ” he continued. “I get in the car, I’m trying to focus, get in the right mind frame, I’m feeling better, and then out of nowhere, I get a NARB … A NARB is a no apparent reason boner. It’s just there, I don’t know what to do.”

Jonas had no choice but to stand on the red carpet with his hands in front of his crotch.

Host Jimmy Fallon confirmed the strategy by showing the audience some throwback pics from carpet, and then took it a step further with a clip of his disastrous award presentation on stage.

“I walked offstage, I looked at my manager, I was like, ‘You think anybody knew?’ He’s like, ‘Yes, They definitely did,’ ” Jonas said.

David Spade
During an appearance on Ellen DeGeneres’ talk show, the actor and comedian revealed he had a little too much fun at her insanely star-studded party — and confused the birthday girl for none other than Justin Bieber.

After discussing brushing shoulders with Kim Kardashian West and Kris Jenner, Spade launched into the hilarious sequence of events that ensued when he came across one of DeGeneres’ “rapper buddies,” whom she assumes is French Montana. “He whipped out some medical marijuana — a big rolled up doobie of it,” recalled Spade.

Spade said everything was “cool for a second” until it hit him. “… I thought you were Justin Bieber for the first half hour,” said Spade as the host cracked up. “It’s only because of your haircut! Not what you were wearing, you looked great.”

Kathy Bates
Yes, the Disjointed star lights up before reading scripts for her weed dispensary sitcom.

“When I read the scripts, I’m stoned,” Bates shared on Late Night with Seth Meyers. “I just wish I had a seatbelt in bed. I laugh so hard I’m afraid to get up… [Smoking] is research!”

A few days earlier, the actress explained to Late Show host Stephen Colbert why you should never smoke with Bill Maher. “I actually had just a quick taste one time when I sat next to Bill Maher at a party. It was Penny Marshall’s birthday,” she said. “And I just got to tell you, never share a joint with a stranger, even if they’re famous — especially Bill Maher. I don’t even remember what happened, it was just insane.”

Kirsten Dunst
The actress accidentally got higher than she had ever been before on the set of her movie, Woodshock. “You have movie pot, which is basically fake,” she explained on Jimmy Kimmel Live. “But we were doing this one scene where, obviously in the movie I don’t smoke that many, but when you’re doing takes you’re doing one after the next, after next … So, after we’re done with the scene I went back to this little bedroom to rest, and I started to feel like I was losing my mind. I went to the bathroom, I’m pacing. [I told director Laura Mulleavy], ‘There is something wrong with me, I think I need to go to the hospital. Like, there’s something seriously up. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I’m shaking, I’m hot, I’m just flipping out.’ ”

“[A producer] goes back, he looks at everything I smoked. He came back and he’s like, ‘Oh, you smoked a full blunt on one of the takes.’ And we’re talking about Humboldt weed. I don’t smoke full joints. This is like strong s—,” she continued, going on to explain that the locals who had rolled the joints threw some real ones in “for fun.”

“I was crying, laughing, eating a peanut butter sandwich — I couldn’t film anymore, they sent me home! I was a total mess. I’ve never been that stoned in my entire life.”

Miley Cyrus
While explaining her decision to take a break from smoking weed on The Tonight Show, the notoriously pro-marijuana singer revealed that the drug had influenced her interview antics.

“You, without knowing it were kind of the reason for [quitting],” she told host Jimmy Fallon. “Because I’ve always been very stoned on your shows … Remember the last time I was here, I think I was dressed as like a bunny rabbit and then like a cat? There’s a reason for that — I was high.”

“I stopped smoking because to sit here and to talk about what I’m doing I wanted to be really clear because I’m actually the most passionate about what I’m doing with this record,” Cyrus continued. “This record for me at this moment is the most important album that I’ve ever made and so I wanted to make sure I’m super clear about the way I’m talking.”

The star also admitted that her stoner days mostly involved staying home to eat and play with her pets. “I was spending way too much time with the pig, and not enough time doing really anything,” she said.

Anne Hathaway
Andy Cohen was partially successful at getting Hathaway to come clean about her rumored smoking habit while playing “Plead the Fifth” on Watch What Happens Live.

“There was a rumor in 2015 that a photo exists and was circulating of you with a massive blunt,” Cohen began his inquiry. “On a scale of one to 10, how big of a stoner is Anne Hathaway?”

“I’m not a little one,” Hathaway replied with a smirk. “But here’s the thing, here’s the thing, though. I’m a parent and I don’t feel like getting arrested, so I’m gonna say ‘zero.’ I guess I should have just pleaded the fifth on that one. But I don’t have a card or anything.”

Elle King
The “Ex’s & Oh’s” singer bit off a little more THC than she could chew before the 2017 Grammys. “Note to self, don’t eat a bunch of pot muffins before the Grammys red carpet. #AccidentallyHighAF,” she captioned a glazed-eyed photo of herself being interviewed on the red carpet.

In another post, King noted that she hadn’t realized the flower crown she wore to the ceremony made her look like “A F—— SNAPCHAT FILTER” because of the whole “accidentally high AF” thing.

King went on to share a clip from one of her on-camera interviews from the night, critiquing her own dazed performance.

“This is what happens when you’re accidentally rly stoned at the Grammys. You see something shiny, forget that you’re on camera, then forget the question, then remember no one should ever let me be interviewed. #SorryMom #StonedAtTheGrammys,” she wrote.

Andrew Garfield
Garfield recently recounted his favorite birthday memory for W magazine, revealing that he and a group of friends, including then-girlfriend Emma Stone, had an extra magical time at Disneyland in 2012.

“They came out to L.A. to surprise me. We went to Disneyland. We ate pot brownies. It was literally heaven,” he recalled. The actor went on to admit he rode Space Mountain three times, and “freaked out” on It’s a Small World: “I was like, ‘it is — it is a f—ing small world — it’s a f—ing – it’s a really f—ing small world, guys, is anyone else seeing how small it is?’ Amazing. Amazing.”

“It was wild. It was one of the best days of my life. It really was,” he added.

Susan Sarandon
Like many celebrity confessions, Sarandon’s awards show secret was first disclosed on Andy Cohen’s Watch What Happens Live. During a round of “Plead the Fifth” in 2013, Cohen asked the screen legend to “Name one Hollywood event that you should show up to stoned.”

“Only one?” she responded. “I would say almost all except the Oscars.”

Speaking to PEOPLE a few months later, Sarandon admitted that it was “an exaggeration” to say that she was high at “every awards show.” “That whole thing of going stoned to every awards show, I wish that could have been possible, but no, that was an exaggeration,” she said.

The screen legend went on to explain the practical pitfalls of toking up before an awards ceremony. “The only down side I can think of with weed is the munchies. And I don’t handle them, I munch,” she confessed. “Awards shows are four hours long. So by the time you even get through the red carpet, unfortunately, you’re not high anymore. But your blood sugar drops and they would do very well to pass out munchies. I remember one time sitting in front of Seal at a very long show and he was passing out little snacks, which was very helpful.”

Jennifer Lawrence (Again)
Following in Sarandon’s footsteps, Lawrence spilled about her pre-Oscars puffing on Watch What Happens Live. “I smoked pot at none of [the awards shows], but I saw my brother smoking out of a bong before one of the Oscars, won’t say which,” she told Cohen.

“Did you take a little hit?” the host pressed.

“Um, yeah,” she replied.

As for whether the pre-show bong moment took place the year she won Best Actress (and famously fell on her way to the podium), Lawrence kept mum and opted to “plead the fifth.”

Zayn Malik
The former One Directioner-turned-solo-star opened up about his herb habits during a November 2016 interview with ES Magazine. “Weed is also a part of my life for certain things,” he told the outlet. “I find it helps me be creative. Some people say it kills your ambition, some people say it destroys your personality. Personally I haven’t had any of them experiences yet.”

When the mag asked if he eats his breakfast with a side of pot, he coyly grinned and replied “I don’t think I’m allowed to specify — don’t get me arrested.”

Tove Lo
The “Habits (Stay High)” singer revealed to PEOPLE that her collaboration with Wiz Khalifa on the track “Influence” involved some studio smoking.

“He came to the studio, we smoked, and he recorded,” she said. Lo recalled being impressed with Khalifa’s performance ability after he partook in the potent strain. “I remember sitting there like, ‘This is really good weed, and f—, how can he sing that fast?!’ ”

Not afraid to show the receipts, Lo posted a video of her studio session with the famous cannabis connoisseur, in which they trade hits from a homemade apple pipe.

The Trainwreck Cast
Bill Hader told Seth Meyers all about the cast’s Amsterdam adventure during a 2015 Late Night appearance. “We got stoned. We all got crazy stoned,” the actor said when Meyers asked what they got up to in the Dutch city.

According to Hader, the experience turned into a bit of a misadventure when he and costar Vanessa Bayer decided to take a stroll through the red light district. “Vanessa was just holding on to me for like dear life, and just looking around — stoned, freaked out … and then we lost her. And I lost her, and it’s my fault, and then it was like I was too stoned to go find her.”

The Saturday Night Live actress then showed up on the Late Night set to chastise Hader for leaving her behind.

From Jennifer Lawrence to Shawn Mendes, these famous faces have shared their funniest 420 tales