You could make anyone fall in love with you. Really.
Amrita Preet Poptani
Mar 26, 2019 · 8 min read
Follow these steps and you’ll be able to screw with anyone…’s biology.
So I know there’s already a whole lot of these out there, from “How do I get my crush to like me back” to “How do I find true love” — What I’m giving you is neither and both. It’s also not something I’ve found curated on other sites (as far as I can tell). It’s a bunch of science-e stuff I’ve found randomly over the years after Googling, researching and those late night reading sessions that lead from one thing to a completely different thing.
I’ m really just giving you some facts about our biology and how you can make this work to land the person of your dreams!
This won’t be your average recipe, no aphrodisiacs like chocolate and strawberries and oysters — this is all natural, all you. Without further ado, here’s your grocery list for love:
1. 20 second Hugs
So I read somewhere that there are 3 stages in a relationship — lust, attraction and then attachment. This tidbit’s gonna get you to that third level ASAP: Light et al. (2005) investigated Oxytocin levels and physical contact. Now, the physical contact bit is easy. The Oxytocin part, that’s where things get interesting. That’s right! THAT is where sexy happens, people, so pay attention. In their study, they found that when their participants (couples) hugged each other for 20 seconds, they released the neurotransmitter Oxytocin and these couples were just happier and less stressed out. What’s Oxytocin, you ask? It’s been dubbed the “love hormone”. It’s basically the bonding bomb you gotta drop, the committer neurotransmitter that’s gonna keep you guys together. The cuddle chemical. The messenger that’s gonna get them moaning for more. Of you. Oh, yea.
In fact, this is notably released during childbirth (#datmaternalbond) and sex. But if you aren’t Oedipus (#datcomplex) and you aren’t the type to have sex on the first date then fret not! All you need to do is hug and hold on a lil’ longer than usual. 20 seconds long to be exact.
Story time! I had this uhm…friend. Who had a friend. Let’s call them Kiki (because that damn song) and Koko (because I take pleasure in alliteration). Kiki and Koko were friends in college and Koko had a thing for Kiki. This, of course, was not really known to Kiki (but let’s face it, Kiki kinda knew). One day, Kiki and Koko played a game and made a bet, winner got to decide the punishment/prize. Koko won and said he wanted a hug every day. “Every day?” she asked, incredulous. “Every day” he repeated. And so everyday they hugged, a good long proper hug — the type where you let go of your weight and for a very short while you share it with someone else — before parting ways and this went on for… I don’t even know! But one day, one fine day, Kiki stepped in for a hug and Koko stepped back. Mischievous, mysterious grin in place, he said bye and walked off. Kiki was like EH no hug? I don’t remember what happened next in this story but I do remember this intense feeling of loss and longing. I mean, Kiki’s explanation of intense loss and longing — It was a good trick, guys. It was legit. And only years later did I stumble upon the science behind it and think dayum son.
2. The answer is SEX.
So this one’s gonna be a tug of war. Girls gotta hold on to it for love but boys gotta go in and get some. Uhm. Okay, let me take a step back and explain it.
Here it is, this cool Biologist chick looked up the science behind her 95-year-old Grandma’s sage advice on love; “Your problem is, you young girls jump into bed too quick! You fall in love but a boy doesn’t fall in love that way.” — Now gather round mi chicas and listen up, grammy was right.
Yeah. So basically, in a woman — remember that Oxytocin chemical? — well that lil’ committer neurotransmitter “skyrockets” when a lady reaches an orgasm. Ouffffff. Ahhh. Mhhmm. Yeah.
I.e. we girls jump into bed with a man, our chemicals be goin’ crazy and then wait, what now, where, huh hold up no oh — kay, we in love now.
And them boys? When do they fall in love if not during the best orgasm they’ll ever have? Well, Grammy answered this too,
“You know a man’s in love when he commits”.
When do they commit? Okay here’s the biology in a jiffy:
Testosterone blocks Oxytocin. In other words, manly macho-ness says HALT to the cuddle chemical. Until that is, he commits. And when he says “Baby, I want you” (and he doesn’t just mean for some bow-chicka-wow-wow time), I mean when a man decides that he wants to be with you, then his Testosterone levels drop, no one’s at the entrance blocking the way and BAM he’s suddenly filled with the looooooove hormone, Oxytocin.
So… are you forming the conclusion? It’s a bit of a twister but me thinks this means that if a man has made his decision for who The One is for him, and if he can get his Usher on with her, then the deal is probs sealed! And for women, well, it’s confusing because we don’t know when a guy wants us or if he just wants it. Sorry, chicas, I guess this one’s more useful for the boys but hey, at least now you know!
3. Say my name, baby.
What do we want? Attention! When do we want it? All the time! How do we get it? Sit down children, let me throw some research at you.
Our brain is hardwired from as early as 5 months old to react to our own name being said out loud (Parise et al., 2010). Carmody & Lewis (2006) showed that some regions in the brain showed greater activation to one’s own name. OH WAIT THERE’S MORE, Moray (1959) (yea, this one’s way back when) found that nothing but saying the other person’s name could “break the barrier” of attention given to something else. Meaning that only saying his/her name got their attention. This is called the cocktail party phenomenon — and it’s neither here nor there today with research against and for it.
What does this mean?
- Don’t go around fitting in future bae’s name into every nook and cranny you can find in your sentence — just ease it in there, use it at pivotal moments!
- Just the fact that most of us are pretty narcissistic, I think there’s no harm in making a point to say the person’s name more often.
Especially if you have an exotic accent. Just sayin’. But be careful with this one, you don’t wanna say it too differently and instead annoy the hell out of them!
4. Get their heart pumping
Here’s the lowdown; When you see someone you like, adrenaline rushes through you and bibbidi-bobbidi-boo your heart starts hammering! Now take this equation and reverse it: If you’re high on adrenaline and you see someone, you might just feel a lil’ something something for them!
There’s been quiiiiite a number of researchers looking into this and coming up with positive results that support this reverse reaction(e.g. Dutton & Aron, 1974; Meston & Frohlich, 2003; McKinney, 2011). As an example, Dutton & Aron (1974) looked into this by testing whether men would call up an attractive woman after she gave them her phone number after doing an activity… And these activities were either a high adrenaline activity (like walking across a wobbly suspension bridge) or a low adrenaline activity (walking across a stable, sturdy bridge). So yea, conclusion, more guys called the hot chick after thinking they might fall to their deaths.
But this doesn’t mean you need to take your crush cliff diving or push them onto on-coming traffic or get into a bloody sword fight on a pirate ship to get them to think you’re attractive!
A concert or a rave would do just fine. Maybe take them go-kart racing or play a game of lazer tag! You get the idea. Get creative and get their heart pumping 😉
Alright, we’ve come to the end and now it’s your job to get to that happily ever after.
Here’s the #tldr recipe to create your very own real life love potion:
Guys, drop some sex in there as soon as possible (amount: as much as you want). Girls… Let him simmer for a bit before adding this.
Don’t shake, just chant their name as you gently push them over a cliff (with a way to pull them back, obviously).
Well, there you have it, my lovelies. Let me know what you think/if you decide to try it OR if you’ve already done this/had this done to you!
#thescienceoflove #TheScientificMethod #JustBecauseItsPublishedInAScientificJournalDoesntMeanItsTrueButItsStillMoreReliableThanYourObnoxiousFriendSusanWhoKeepsPostingHappyCouplyPicturesAndGivingUnwantedDatingAdviceShutUpSusan
So I know there’s already a whole lot of these out there, from “How do I get my crush to like me back” to “How do I find true love” — What I’m giving you is neither and both. It’s also not something…